P1.
When I was small, I told myself my dreams will not be just within this small town and country.
As a girl grown up in a country where women are understood to be obedient, servant and sacrificing for parents, family, husband and their kids, I always asked myself how it is so unfair to us as a woman.
At home, I saw my Mom, my GrandMom, my sisters treated as lower levels in family and society. Men always have the superior positions than us.
In big parties, I witnessed women had to prepare food, cook and set the tables, then have to sit at the back to eat. Men were the ones who sit, talk & drink, waiting for the food to come. Some even scolded, yelled, hollered and gave orders to their wives.
As a woman in my country at that time, you could be devalued, manipulated, beaten up and verbally abused without any protection or support. People around even said because you're a woman, you have to accept these.
Looking at these scenes makes me never want to get marriage. But to where I lived, it's abnormal, something really wrong. Then I got into a marriage which my husband at that time - a young healthy man never went to work, always drunk, gambling, cheating and beating me up. I cried a lot and I got advices from around that I have to suffer as I am a woman and I might not make my husband happy that I absolutely made some mistakes.
How come a well-educated and ambitious person like me still have to go through these because I am a woman???
Right after the first day of wedding, I tried to get out of the marriage with a lot of threatens from the cruel husband that he will kill me and my family. He also said, 'you, woman could not do anything!'
My local government didn't stand on my side. Others think it's family stuff so they won't get involved. There was nothing to protect me.
I was running away and hiding for months until I found out I got pregnant. I delivered my baby with a worry that he may take my baby away anytime.
I remembered one rainy night, after nearly 2 years separating, he went to my house where I lived with my 8-month-son at that time. He hit the door and yelled out loud to make me open the door for him. He held a long knife in his right hand and asked me to kneel down to apologize that I insulted him and his family or he will kill me and all my beloved ones. I asked him what I did but he could not answer and he started to beat me up. He used the knife to stab to my right rib, however fortunately it got stuck into a carton box next to me. Then he pulled my hair hit my head into the glass display closet; the glasses broke into triangle sharp pieces dropping down and cut to my thigh and feet. Blood was everywhere and I was on the floor with lots of injuries but he didn't stop, he continued pulled my hair and dragged me around the house to find my son which was also his son. He wanted to show him how a disobedient woman could get. To him, I'm a bad woman as I'm much better and more successful than him in everything and I'm not allowed to be like that. Luckily, he could not find my son as he hided so well under the bed.
I was fainted as bleeding and painful. When my son woke me up, he left already. I tried to get up, locked the door, washing all the wounds and told myself I would never ever let him or anyone do this to me again just because I am a woman.
That night, I hold my son and told him don't be afraid, I will do anything what a Mother could do to protect my children!
And I will show the world what a Woman like me could do!
This will be a part of Chic Beauty missions to protect women and children from abuse, violence, trafficking...
